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The Safe Hybrid Battery Joke thread !

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Rocky Wabbit

Rocky Wabbit

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Seems that when the Lord was creating the world, He called Lil Johnny over and
bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Lil Johnny is disappointed !...
"Only twenty years of normal sex life?"
Yet, the Lord was adamant and insisted that Lil Johnny
could have no more than twenty years of normal sex life.
Then, the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years.
"But, I don't need twenty years, "protested the monkey.
"Ten years is plenty for me."
Lil Johnny spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten years?"
The monkey graciously agreed.
Then, the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years.
The lion, like the monkey, only wanted ten years.
Again, Lil Johnny asked , "can I have the other ten years?"
The lion graciously agreed.
Then, along came a donkey and he too was given twenty years.
But, like the others, ten years was more than sufficient.
Once again, Lil Johnny pleaded, "can I have the other ten years?"
And so, it all makes perfect sense now...
Lil Johnny has twenty years of normal sex life,
ten years of monkeying around,
ten years of lion about it and
ten years of making an ass of himself.
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Rocky Wabbit

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The woman is very concerned that she has not had a date or sex in quite some time,
so she decides to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her doctor recommends that she see the well known sex therapist, Dr Lil Johnny.
So she goes to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Lil Johnny says, "OK take off all your crose."
The woman does as she is asked.
"Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."
Again the woman does as she is instructed.
Dr. Lil Johnny then says, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."
So she does.
Dr.Lil Johnny shakes his head slowly and says, "'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary disease.
Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
Worried the woman asked anxiously "Oh my god, Dr Lil Johonny, what is Ed Zachary Disease ?"
Dr Lil Johnny Chang sighs deeply and replies "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look edzachary like your arss"..... ...
Ford F-150 Lightning The Safe Hybrid Battery Joke thread ! biglaugh
 
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Rocky Wabbit

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The high price of romance!
Dad has been away for a some time serving his country and
has a romantic evening planned for he and his wife.
He gives the two older kids tickets to the movie but
could not persuade the youngest boy Lil Johnny, to go along.

Finally he makes a deal with Lil Johnny.
If Lil Johnny will go sit on the curb in front of their house,
Daddy will give him $5 bucks for every man he sees go past wearing a red hat.
Much Later Lil Johnny runs into the house and
bangs on the bedroom door shouting:
"Dad, if you think your getting screwed in there,
you'd better come outside, there's a Shriner's convention going past."
 
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Lil Johnny wants a job as a signalman on the railways.
He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector asked, “What would you do if you realized
that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?”
Lil Johnny replied, “I would switch the points for one of the trains.”
“What if the lever broke?” asked the inspector.
“Then I’d dash down out of the signal box,” said Lil Johnny,
“and I’d use the manual lever over there.”
“What if that had been struck by lightning?”
“Then,” Lil Johnny answered, “I’d run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box.”
“What if the phone was busy?”
“Well in that case,” persevered Lil Johnny,
“I’d rush down out of the box and
use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there.”
“What if that was vandalized?”
“Oh, well then I’d run into town and go get my Uncle Lester.”
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked Lil Johnny, “Why would you do that?”
Lil Johnny says, “Well, Uncle Lester ain’t never seen a train wreck!”
 
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Rocky Wabbit

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Lil johnny is sitting at the table doing his English homework.
He looks over at his dad and says,
Dad I need the definition of two words, "Potential and Reality".
His dad says, "Ill do better than that, and give you an example."
" Go into the kitchen to your mother and asked her if for a million bucks if
she'd sleep with Robert Redford, and than go to your sisters room and
ask her for a million bucks if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt."
So lil Johnny not knowing what dad was up to did as he was told.
He goes to the kitchen and asked, "Mom for a million bucks would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
Mom blushes and in a hushed voice says, "Yes, yes I would."
So he than he goes to his sisters room and asked,
"Sis, for a million bucks would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
Sis looks at him and says, "Yes, yes I would."
Lil Johnny goes back into the living room and says, "Dad I think I get it.
We are potentially sitting on a couple million bucks,
but in reality we're living with a couple of sluts."
 

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Rocky Wabbit

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Ford F-150 Lightning The Safe Hybrid Battery Joke thread ! 1648791749404
Think Putin went Berserker ?
 
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The Pilot of an oversea flight on the intercom to passengers.

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the
event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take
them with you with our compliments."
 
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Ford F-150 Lightning The Safe Hybrid Battery Joke thread ! 1649457209491
 
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Ford F-150 Lightning The Safe Hybrid Battery Joke thread ! 1650038235916
 
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The Bitch slap will become part of all, "Awards Shows !

Are all the billions of Plastic bottles full of hot air floating around heating up the oceans ?
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